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Monday, August 26, 2013

what summer should always be.

It is funny the expectations we put ourselves in......whether it is the lists for errands, the items we want to do for "quality time", the nonsense, the seasons, the guilt, the stress and the never-ending teeter-totter of finding balance. What is balance? What does a healthy, joy filled, loving life look like? I seem to be in a constant battle of trying to achieve this life. I know that I have a blessed life...........I find myself looking at my girls and pinching myself, at this life I lead. My normal. My routines. Day in and day out. 

So why is it so hard to get rid of the guilt. 
Are my girls feeling loved enough today?
Did I remember to tell them how special they are?
Is my house clean enough? Did I sweep this week? 
Why does it sometime take me 3 times to run a load through the wash before putting it in the dryer? ;)
Why did I yell today?
Do I show Andy how much he means to me? 
Am I treating my favorite person like my favorite person?
Did I respond to all of my emails, text messages and phone calls?
Am I doing enough to  breathe in the day?
Why have my girls been eating deli meat and cheese 4 days in a row?
It is never ending......

The lists. The mentality of, "if I get this done, then I can do this." I think it will be a life of trying to find this life that has the balance of taking a minute to sit and have a coffee, take a bath, go on a walk with my family, push my daughters in a swing, paint their nails, take a nap, laugh, make time for preparing family dinners and eating them ;) or not rushing bedtime.....

I am in a everyday "self check" to be the best version of me. I am the only one that is me. I need to seek God more. I desire to be joy-filled, loving, caring, honest, self-less, grace abounding, and real. 

I want to respond in love and thankfulness when my family needs me. I am their only mother and wife. That is a gift. When my daughters need extra time to cuddle, I want to be thankful in that very moment.

So this weekend, was summer days like they should always be.
laughter.
blankets in the grass.
bbq.
swimming.
sunscreen and bug spray.
road trips with the windows down listening to john mayer.
food on a stick.
bonfires. 
farmers market.
family time.
no watch to be worn.

It was awesome!


We headed to my in-laws for some R&R. Well, at least us girls did some relaxing..... Andy was busy building a zip line and rope swing over the family pond for an upcoming youth retreat. Talk about crazy. It is going to be amazing though! So worth the hours invested in building it.....





Andy's dad and brother.




Zion and Zakiyah love all of the options for driving around on the Cass Ranch :)


Zion with her 2nd cousin, Vieves, cruzin the beat.



We would periodically go and say hi to daddy while he was working.



Tradition. Emy J's coffeehouse. Amen. The best. I met up with my SIL, Katie for coffee! Ryan's girlfriend, Jamie and her sis, Jen met us too. It was blissful. Iced Caramel almond milk latte. Praise him.


After coffee, Katie and I hit up the local farmers market. We got watermelon, flowers (Zinnias) and carrots. YUM.






We spent lots of time at Andy's aunt/uncle's house next door. Swimming and playing on the beach.


Kiyah had her first watermelon. She reacted on her face a bit, but not too bad. She has this thing she does now, closes her eyes and shakes her head side to side, like she is saying "no". It is rediculously cute. She is such a ham.


Blackberry picking.


Kiyah also likes to cry when she bites you. She bit grandma here by accident while eating, and grandma yelled. This is the reaction. so hilarious. mouth full of blueberries.


The posts for the zip line from the road. Huge.


We grabbed Belts on our way home. I got Door County Cherry Sundae. Holler.


Yesterday, after much contemplation on the heat index being ok or not. We perservered and hit up the MN State Fair. Amazing. We waited until later afternoon to go hoping that would help with the heat and sweat. Ha. It was sooooo fun. A few of our friends cruised up to St. Paul with us. I road with my good friend Sarah, and the toddlers and Kiyah.


hus and wife selfie.


The lil ladies having a blast.


 Zion and daddy on the ferris wheel.

It was an amazing weekend. I know that every weekend can't be like this. But it was soooooooo needed and so perfect.

Happy Monday my friends. I hope you all have a fabulous day filled with joy and love.








Friday, August 23, 2013

H54F

Every Friday, I post my highlights from the week........ so hard to select just a few pix......We had a blessed week. I had some lunch dates with friends. Hit up a big flea market- Gold Rush days..... ran/walked my first 5k, Color Vibe, with friends.....celebrated my Zakiyah's first birthday. Read more here and here! Worked at Tala..... played outside and got to meet my BFF/old roomie, Liz's baby girl- Sydney Ann and see a friend that lives in London! We had our first ER visit for our baby.....she is OK! just had a lamp fall on her hand, enough to stress this mama out. Happy Friday!


New pie tin from Anthro- used money from my Grandma Cherie to buy! In love!!!!! I got the vintage table cloth at the flea market! Perfection. 



Ice Cream party for my lil lady. 


 The dollhouse we have been working on....still not done. but getting there.


My 3.5 year old in Timeout. Not working. But the best pix ever.


blurry. but too cute. 

Baby Sydney


College friends.


poor baby at hospital. 


new water table from the grandparents. and naked baby. bliss.


color vibe ladies! 

Thanks for stopping by. Happy summer!!!!!!!!

link up with Jeanett and Lauren

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

a year in recap.

Reflecting on the birth of this lovie.
Check out my birth story here, and my hus' version here.
I can't get over how full my heart is, since I have become a mommy.
Can't even put it into words.
the ups 
the downs
the emotions
the guilt
the excitement
the lessons
the learning how to balance
the hugs
the giggles
the teachable moments
the morning cuddles
the sound of hearing, "mom mom mama mama" come out of your baby's mouth
the smell of sunscreen and post bath
the feeling of your baby's head on your shoulder, legs wrapped around your hips, and hands holding mine.
priceless
overwhelming......
burst of sunshine.....
joy.....

my Zakiyah (pure one)
my Nova (burst of light, bright. new)

My buddy.
My daughter.
My second born.
My lil lady.

I thought I would share some random photos of the past year. 
Random order.

Enjoy.


Zakiyah is in the mischief stage. Exploring. crawling. and following her sister's suit.


We had a fun filled summer with a lot of grad parties.


Zion and Zakiyah in the crib being sisters.


Toesies and flip flops...need I say more.


Camp life. 5 weeks of camp for my hus. 2.5 wks for me. Our kids love it.



First Christmas!



First wedding!!


Pinterest FAIL


First Disney and Family VACATION




Outside fun.


One of my fav sister pix. the bond. the cuddles. the love. the built in friendship.


Obsessed with how she eats. 
She loves avocados, chicken, rice, fruit and sweets.


the moment she was born. sigh.


baby toes.



meeting great grandma and great grandpa


Four generations



my girls love going to cass fam house in WI


Meeting daddy and mommy




meeting big sister!


my special necklace. feather represents GROWTH. growing family. growing heart. growing spiritually.


best daddy ever.


being dedicated!


learning to crawl.


What a year. I missed a lot of moments. But so thankful for this year.  It was the year we became a family of four. It was the year we met and fell in love with our Zakiyah. It was the year, my heart grew larger, than I thought ever possible. Happy First Birthday precious one.