It is funny the expectations we put ourselves in......whether it is the lists for errands, the items we want to do for "quality time", the nonsense, the seasons, the guilt, the stress and the never-ending teeter-totter of finding balance. What is balance? What does a healthy, joy filled, loving life look like? I seem to be in a constant battle of trying to achieve this life. I know that I have a blessed life...........I find myself looking at my girls and pinching myself, at this life I lead. My normal. My routines. Day in and day out.
So why is it so hard to get rid of the guilt.
Are my girls feeling loved enough today?
Did I remember to tell them how special they are?
Is my house clean enough? Did I sweep this week?
Why does it sometime take me 3 times to run a load through the wash before putting it in the dryer? ;)
Why did I yell today?
Do I show Andy how much he means to me?
Am I treating my favorite person like my favorite person?
Did I respond to all of my emails, text messages and phone calls?
Am I doing enough to breathe in the day?
Why have my girls been eating deli meat and cheese 4 days in a row?
It is never ending......
The lists. The mentality of, "if I get this done, then I can do this." I think it will be a life of trying to find this life that has the balance of taking a minute to sit and have a coffee, take a bath, go on a walk with my family, push my daughters in a swing, paint their nails, take a nap, laugh, make time for preparing family dinners and eating them ;) or not rushing bedtime.....
I am in a everyday "self check" to be the best version of me. I am the only one that is me. I need to seek God more. I desire to be joy-filled, loving, caring, honest, self-less, grace abounding, and real.
I want to respond in love and thankfulness when my family needs me. I am their only mother and wife. That is a gift. When my daughters need extra time to cuddle, I want to be thankful in that very moment.
So this weekend, was summer days like they should always be.
laughter.
blankets in the grass.
bbq.
swimming.
sunscreen and bug spray.
road trips with the windows down listening to john mayer.
food on a stick.
bonfires.
farmers market.
family time.
no watch to be worn.
It was awesome!
We headed to my in-laws for some R&R. Well, at least us girls did some relaxing..... Andy was busy building a zip line and rope swing over the family pond for an upcoming youth retreat. Talk about crazy. It is going to be amazing though! So worth the hours invested in building it.....
Andy's dad and brother.
Zion and Zakiyah love all of the options for driving around on the Cass Ranch :)
Zion with her 2nd cousin, Vieves, cruzin the beat.
We would periodically go and say hi to daddy while he was working.
Tradition. Emy J's coffeehouse. Amen. The best. I met up with my SIL, Katie for coffee! Ryan's girlfriend, Jamie and her sis, Jen met us too. It was blissful. Iced Caramel almond milk latte. Praise him.
After coffee, Katie and I hit up the local farmers market. We got watermelon, flowers (Zinnias) and carrots. YUM.
We spent lots of time at Andy's aunt/uncle's house next door. Swimming and playing on the beach.
Kiyah had her first watermelon. She reacted on her face a bit, but not too bad. She has this thing she does now, closes her eyes and shakes her head side to side, like she is saying "no". It is rediculously cute. She is such a ham.
Blackberry picking.
Kiyah also likes to cry when she bites you. She bit grandma here by accident while eating, and grandma yelled. This is the reaction. so hilarious. mouth full of blueberries.
The posts for the zip line from the road. Huge.
We grabbed Belts on our way home. I got Door County Cherry Sundae. Holler.
Yesterday, after much contemplation on the heat index being ok or not. We perservered and hit up the MN State Fair. Amazing. We waited until later afternoon to go hoping that would help with the heat and sweat. Ha. It was sooooo fun. A few of our friends cruised up to St. Paul with us. I road with my good friend Sarah, and the toddlers and Kiyah.
hus and wife selfie.
The lil ladies having a blast.
Zion and daddy on the ferris wheel.
It was an amazing weekend. I know that every weekend can't be like this. But it was soooooooo needed and so perfect.
Happy Monday my friends. I hope you all have a fabulous day filled with joy and love.
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